By Sarah Anderson, FosterWiki
1 in 4 people in the UK will experience mental health issues each year according to the NHS, foster carers are no different, and are, by nature of what they do, exposed to more risk factors that contribute to mental health issues than many, so why is foster carer’s mental health so universally unacknowledged and unsupported?
There is no argument that the children are first and foremost and at the centre of all we do, but those who care for them may also need support with their mental health. As foster carers burn out or suffer silently from secondary traumatic stress or compassion fatigue it can directly affect the children in more ways than one, impacting on placement stability, retention of carers, and children and young people continue to be bounced around the system multiple times, further exacerbating their existing trauma.
The truth is mental health issues do not prevent foster carers from functioning in their role, just as they do not prevent others from working, parenting or going about the normality of their day, but they do need addressing if we want better outcomes for children and young people.
Talking about and maintaining a foster carer’s mental health should be standard, it should be normal, and it certainly should not be a taboo subject. However, many foster carers are reluctant to discuss or report any mental health issues due to fear of losing their registration and children.
Unfortunately, ignoring foster carer’s mental health and leaving it unacknowledged does not mean that issues go away, it simply means they go underground and have wider reaching repercussions.
Foster carers may be affected by Secondary Traumatic Stress at some time in their fostering role, many without even realising it. When a carer is in close contact or attuned to children and young people who have been traumatised, they are being exposed, often subconsciously, to the young person’s distress and trauma of past events. As a carer, this can feel exhausting and it is not uncommon for carers dealing with traumatised children to struggle with this, adding strain to their own mental health.
Compassion fatigue in a foster carer is a term that describes the emotional and psychological impact of caring for, and helping children and young people who carry a lot of trauma. It can lead to a diminished ability to feel compassion or feel empathy for the children and young people in their care.
Depression and anxiety can be common amongst carers, as they are exposed repeatedly to another’s subconscious trauma, disturbing stories and disclosures of traumatic events, including cruelty, abandonment, abuse, neglect, sexual abuse, substance abuse, domestic violence, trafficking and more.
Foster carers are also encouraged to build strong loving attachments with each child or young person, to make them part of their families, part of their lives. So when a child moves on the loss and grief can be all encompassing. You would think there would be support and understanding for this, however foster carers are a low priority and are left to deal with this loss and grief alone, afraid to reach out for help less they, ironically, get labelled ‘too attached’ or ‘over emotional’.
Projection and transference are complex psychological and psychotherapeutic terms; however, they are a very common occurrence in foster care. Simply put it means that a child or young person is unconsciously transferring their feelings about someone else onto the foster carer. In foster care, it can mean that in the absence of the birth parents the child will ‘project’ their feelings of anger, loss, frustration, confusion, grief and onto the foster carer.
The impact of the current allegations system is something that shadows foster carers, they often live and work with the fear and anxiety of allegations as a constant backdrop, this can result in hyper-vigilance and anxiety in their own homes and daily life.
So what do foster carers need? Firstly a safe space to discuss their mental health, feelings and emotions without fear of reprisals, plus access to adequate breaks, quality supervision and confidential counselling.
If you are a foster carer take stock of how you are feeling and don’t minimise the impact fostering has on your mental health, do not berate yourself for not being ‘stronger’ or underestimate how you are feeling and try to soldier on.
One of the most powerful and important yet difficult things to do is to reach out for help and talk to someone, admittedly finding the right place to do that can also be challenging as it needs to be confidential, however fostering services must also recognise how important it is for placement stability and outcomes for children to protect their foster carers mental health.
No Panic can provide confidential support to foster carers experiencing anxiety. If you are a foster carer struggling with anxiety, please phone our helpline on 0300 7729844. Open every day 10am-10pm.
