By Wayne Senior, Content Team Co-ordinator
There are different types of dispute. You may be in conflict with a member or more than one member of your family. Perhaps you are in conflict with the neighbours. You may be in a legal dispute, perhaps an industrial dispute with your employer. Perhaps you want to see more of your children. All these conflict situations can be difficult to handle, even if you do not usually have anxiety.
In conflicts there can be heated arguments. Arguments can cause you to feel a physical tension in the moment. This is your body going into fight or flight mode, preparing for imminent danger. This can happen even if you are not in physical danger. Raised voices can be a trigger.
After an argument, you may continue to feel anxious as you go over the situation in your mind. It is natural to reflect on arguments, but try to avoid overthinking about them, as the more you think about them – the more your anxiety may distort them to make the situation appear worse.
Individual arguments are short-term, but there can be a long-term pattern of arguments. More serious disputes can last for months or years. They can be complicated. The pressure is not momentary. There can be a greater sense of anticipation as the dispute moves towards the next step.
The intensity of disputes means they can take over your mind. You can think about them for hours every day, planning what you are going to say, anticipating what may be said against you and how you will respond. Too much thinking can be unhealthy. It can exhaust your mind. Rather than feeling a greater sense of clarity, you can feel increasingly overwhelmed.
As serious as the dispute may be, the most important thing is that you do not let it take over your life. It is just a part of your life at that time. It is not the whole of you. Thinking about it this way might help you to manage the dispute better, as your mind may be clearer and you may have more mental energy. Make time for yourself. Allocate time when you aim not to spend so much as a second thinking about the dispute.
You may be wondering if No Panic can support you with your conflict or dispute. We can support you with your anxiety. We can listen to you tell us about the situation, but we are unlikely to be able to advise on the specifics of the situation. As a self-help charity, our focus is on helping you manage your anxiety around the situation, and helping you to think things through in a way that is rational, rather than a way that is driven by your anxiety.
If a conflict or dispute has been resolved but your anxiety around it is lingering, our CBT-Focused Mentoring services can help you make progress with getting your mind to think as it did before your anxiety increased. Whether you are anxious during a dispute or after, you can call our helpline for emotional and practical support with your anxiety, every day between 10am and 10pm on 0300 7729844.
