By Julitta Lee, Content Team Contributor

Since I’ve been on a personal journey to manage my anxiety better, I have realised that how we view anxiety can dramatically change our experience of it. Whether these views come from within ourselves or others, they can become either obstacles, or stepping stones, in our mental health journey. Let us look at some of the negative attitudes yourself and others may have on anxiety, and how we can overcome them. 

Our Personal Views on Anxiety: A Barrier or a Bridge?

For many of us, anxiety feels like an unwelcome intruder. We may see anxiety as something to battle, suppress, or hide from, or something that makes us weak. Internal dialogues like “I shouldn’t be feeling this way”, or “I’m not strong enough to deal with this”, can become self-fulfilling prophecies that turn anxiety into a bigger barrier than it needs to be.

But what if we could change these attitudes? Instead of viewing anxiety as a flaw, we can start seeing it as a signal – our mind and body’s way of alerting us to something that needs attention. We can transform our anxiety from something to fear into something we learn from. 

Here’s 3 ways we can overcome our negative attitudes when experiencing anxiety:

1. Acknowledge anxiety as a natural response: Anxiety is a biological mechanism designed to protect us. Understanding that it’s a part of being human can reduce the shame we associate with it. 
   
2. Self-Compassion: When anxiety hits it’s important to remember to be kind to ourselves. Rather than criticizing ourselves for feeling this way, we should treat our anxious moments with the same compassion we’d offer a friend. For example, saying, “It’s okay to feel this way, you’re doing your best, and that’s enough”, creates a more supportive internal environment, and can change the way we handle those difficult feelings. 
3. 
   Reframe anxiety as an opportunity: While anxiety is uncomfortable, the feeling often arises when we’re on the brink of change or growth. Instead of seeing it as something to endure, try thinking of it as an opportunity to learn more about ourselves. Anxiety can be a sign that we’re stepping outside of our comfort zone, and that’s where growth happens.

External Views on Anxiety: Overcoming Misconceptions

It’s not just our internal beliefs that shape our experience, what other people think can play a big role. Sadly, there’s still a lot of misunderstanding surrounding anxiety, especially from those who haven’t experienced it firsthand. You’ve probably heard people say “Just relax”, “It’s all in your head”, or even “Everyone deals with it”, while often well-intentioned, can feel dismissive, and invalidate our experience. 

These social situations can get tricky to deal with, but there are some steps we can take to manage these situations, and feel more in control: 

1. Validate yourself: When surrounded by those who don’t fully understand anxiety, remind yourself that their opinions don’t define your experience. You don’t need someone else to validate how you feel! Trust that your anxiety is real and manageable, regardless of what they might say.
3. Be prepared with responses: Sometimes, having a calm, confident response, ready for dismissive comments, can make a huge difference. You could express, “Anxiety is more than just feeling nervous – it’s something I’m working on”, or “I appreciate your concern, but I can handle this my own way”. These could help you set boundaries, and communicate your needs clearly, to shut down uncomfortable conversations without escalating the tension. 
   
4. Additionally, educate when possible: It’s not your responsibility to educate others, but sometimes sharing a little information can shift someone’s perspective. If you feel comfortable enough, a simple explanation can help others understand. But when the effort feels draining or unwelcome, it’s okay to step back. 
   
5. Shift the narrative: Social pressure feeds on stigma. By being open about your experiences, when you feel safe doing so, can help normalise conversations about anxiety and mental health. Over time, this openness could help break down the stigma, and create a safer social environment for yourself and others. 
   
6. Prioritise self-care after social situations: Experiencing social environments with negative or ignorant views on anxiety can be draining, so make sure to prioritise self-care afterwards. This could be practising relaxation techniques, journaling, or spending time with someone who truly understands. Allow yourself the space to recharge, knowing you’ve handled a difficult situation. 

The more we reflect on ourselves, the more we realise that anxiety isn’t the real enemy – it’s to do with how we and others respond to it. Dealing with anxiety involves both an internal and external approach. Internally, we have to be mindful of how our automatic thoughts can affect our experience, and focus on self-compassion and positive reframing. Externally, it’s about setting boundaries, educating when possible, and protecting ourselves when misunderstandings occur.

By shifting these attitudes – both in ourselves and others – we can turn what feels like a weakness into a source of strength. That way, we can help ourselves and others who may be struggling in silence.

Sources

Daniels, N. (2019). Your attitude can help your anxiety or OCD (or hurt it). Natasha Daniels. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ8mcdeP1og
Neufeld, G. (2012). Gordon Neufeld – Foster an Accepting Attitude to Alarm & Anxiety. Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cs6zEqHuzo 

NHS. (2024). Anxiety self-help guide. NHS inform. https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health/mental-health-self-help-guides/anxiety-self-help-guide/ 

Zhu, J., Li, Z., Zhang, X., Zhang, Z., & Hu, B. (2023). Public Attitudes Toward Anxiety Disorder on Sina Weibo: Content Analysis. Journal of medical Internet research, 25, e45777. https://doi.org/10.2196/45777